


the flames will consume our love

by Kyuudii



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, M/M, and i like crushing hearts, idk i just wanted to write some angst, its gay and sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-05 13:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14045004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyuudii/pseuds/Kyuudii
Summary: John recalls how he, an all-powerful, world-consuming monster, begins feels human again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have fallen into mcelroy hell, especially taz, and specifically johnchurch. it's been a while since i've written something, so forgive me if it's rusty ;;

John has always seen himself as the fire that eats up Merle. And that’s not just because he kills him through flames every time they meet. No; he is the flames, the raw power coursing through his veins can be equated to the very energy fire contains.

He laughs as Merle burns down in front of him, laughing at the power he can channel with a flick of his wrist. It’s one of the only things he can feels nowadays, and he’s going to savor every moment of this.

There is only darkness and hate until the next time Merle calls him, and he’s basked into the setting sunlight once more. He cares little for it, seeing it nothing more than an hourglass for the next kill, the next surge of power and superiority. At least the orange glow makes it look as if Merle was on fire twice.

But then he grows bored of just killing. Where’s the fun in taking information and killing once it’s over? Their little yearly chase for the Light of Creation hasn’t been as interesting as before either. He invites the dwarf for a game of chess; after all, it’s one thing he’s sure he’s great at, and the look on his face when he saw he lost would be adding insult to injury. He’s surprised when Merle manages to contest him and end in a stalemate. He invites him for another game, then again, and again, and again.

Years pass. Countless stalemates and stories are shared between the two, each leaving with a smile on their face. Well, John’s at least—Merle doesn’t look as happy when he gets engulfed in flames. John smiles and laughs in what feels like decades and centuries. The fire he enjoys shifts from the flames that engulf Merle into flames that begin to lick at his heart.

 _This will not end well, John. You out of us all know this,_ whispers The Hunger. _Nothing in this entire existence will be enough to satisfy us._

_He is more than enough to satisfy me. He is more than I ever deserve._

In the final meetups, John notices the cracks where The Hunger pokes through. He feels their eyes on the pair, seething with rage. This little game of theirs is coming to an end soon.

It comes to an abrupt stop, much sooner than he ever anticipated. Merle doesn’t come back the next year, nor the year after that, nor in the following years. He hates to admit it, that he has allowed himself to feel. The Hunger takes advantage of this; they feed on his sorrow, his anger, disappointment. They seep into the cracks of what was once a man named John, and they whisper that this is the punishment he deserves.

But he refuses to give up. The light and hope that Merle has given him still burns inside of him, and no amount of anger can ever put it out. He struggles and flails in pure darkness as he yearns for the orange glow of the setting sun and Merle, god, Merle, to embrace him once more.

On the day he manages to summon Merle, he doesn’t fully believe it first. Here he was, in the room where he pieced himself back together, in the room where he felt human once more. Quickly now, before The Hunger destroys this place.

He doesn’t keep track of time, but he knows it has passed as the Merle who stands before him does not look the same. Time was never an issue for him—time becomes unnecessary to keep track of once one becomes a giant, all-consuming plane—yet in the period since he last saw Merle and now seemed longer than eternity.

“Hi Merle. Got a minute?”

Despite the cracks in the walls glowing and seeping with The Hunger’s eyes, they begin a game of chess.

He knows it’s too late. The Hunger has caught up to his antics. He can feel their hate, their envy at him feeling satisfaction during these window opportunities with Merle.

It’s too late. He cannot ask for forgiveness. He can only try to steer the man who has made him feel alive to the right path to keep everything else alive. To allow everyone else to feel the same way as he did, with hope and happiness and love.

It’s too late. He has become the wood and Merle has become the fire, the very thing that makes him feel and be what was once human. The realization hit him too late, too close to the end of his rope, too close to the fire consuming him.

He spends his last moments in an embrace, an embrace from a man that he loves, an embrace that he does not deserve. Their grip begins to falter, and before he slips back into nothing, he takes one last look at Merle, smiles, and mouths: Thank you.

And he’s pulled under, deep into the darkness, deep into a suffocating mass of energy that burns at his lungs. They seep deeper into him, staining him to the very core. Whatever features he used to have, they have become into pure darkness, into pure hate.

And just like that, he is gone.


	2. maybe the ocean will wash the embers away

Before, he would have said that he and The Hunger were one. It was him, and he was it. But now, that statement couldn't be anymore wrong.

The first thing he senses are seagull cries that drown out the soft lapping of the waves. A sharp pang shoots through his entire body as he attempts to stand up, muscles and bones aching and creaking in protest.

The beach is a beautiful place.

Still disoriented, he stands still, taking the time to look at the view in front of him.

A soft salty breeze blows through his disheveled hair, and for the first time in a long time, John feels free. He steps closer to the shore, standing just before the waves touch him.

The sunset looks even more beautiful than the one he recalls from the meeting room, with nothing obstructing the rays and warmth. He sits down on the sand, closes his eyes and takes everything in.

He does not deserve this.

But he will allow himself to enjoy nevertheless.

He allows himself to feel the sand between his toes, to feel the breeze cup his face, to feel the warmth he has so longly yearned for in his life.

It doesn't take long before he hears footsteps from behind him. He doesn't have to turn around to see who it is; in this world, there is only one person who can follow him.

John invites him to sit with him. No words need to be said. No words can be said. He knows they have succeeded in their task, in being heroes to not just this world, but to all others.

It's too nice of an ending for someone like him.

This is the time, he thinks. There is no other time he can. And so he does, whispering three words so softly the wind takes it away before it could even take a step past his lips. Merle does not need to hear it, not when the end is so near.

They sit for some time, reveling in the view and the silence of each other's company.

As the final sliver of light slips through the edge of the water and sky, he closes his eyes, and begins to feel himself to fade along with it.

It is over. He is over.

And the world is at peace once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add a little addition cause it felt weird to simply stop the fic there when there was no mention of the Fated Beach Scene

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter and tumblr @ kyuudii


End file.
